The 29 Confessions of a Distance Swimmer
Photo Courtesy: Brian Jenkins-UVM Athletics
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The 29 Confessions of a Distance Swimmer – From the Archives
By Chandler Brandes
“I didn’t choose the distance life. The distance life chose me.”
Well, not quite.
Distance swimmers are all born the same way: we swam the 500 for the first time around age nine or 10 and didn’t do too badly, so our coaches put us in it again at the next meet.
Then again.
And again.
And before we knew it, we were swimming the 1000. Then the dreaded day came when we had to swim the 1650.
And here we are, many years later, still staring at the bottom of the pool, anxiously waiting for the red blocks to appear.
Here are 29 confessions all distance swimmers have:
1. You wish you were a sprinter. Every. Single. Day.
2. You can guess your splits correctly―to the tenth.
3. You have a different pair of goggles you use when racing the 500, which are obviously different than the ones for the 1650.
4. Brackets around sets don’t phase you anymore.
5. You hate when your coach thinks you can swim the 400 IM because you have “endurance.”
6. You secretly have at least one teammate who you will never, ever let count for you.
7. You genuinely have no idea what stroke to do when a set says “no freestyle.”
8. You contemplate stopping at least 66 times during the mile.
9. You secretly like training trip because it means long course.
10. You wonder what it would be like to be Katie Ledecky nearly every practice.
11. The thought of all the food you’ll eat after practice is sometimes the only thing that gets you out of bed.
12. Your ideal race plan includes using the first 600 as your warmup.
13. It means so much to you when you see your teammates cheer for you the entire race…
14. …except on the first lap, because no one can be THAT excited with 65 laps to go.
15. You seriously consider getting out and slapping your counter each time they shake the numbers.
16. You quietly (or loudly) curse the person who thought it would be a good idea to race anything over a 100.
17. You have separate playlists for the 500, 1000, and 1650.
18. You purposely breathe to the side your coach isn’t standing on.
19. You wish there was a 4×500 relay, but then realize how awful that would actually be.
20. You’re thankful that your start has no impact on your races.
21. You often think about all the yardage that you’ve skipped because, even after all these years, you still can’t count correctly.
22. You cry into your goggles almost every practice, but no one notices because your eyes dry long before the set is even halfway done.
23. You consider writing complaint letters to broadcast stations for cutting to commercials during distance races.
24. The red blocks are the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.
25. During long sets, you only have the single most annoying verse of a song stuck in your head.
26. You believe that hearing the bell is the equivalent of angels singing.
27. You’ve mastered flip turning and pulling down your cap simultaneously.
28. You don’t want to be at the distance session just as much as everyone else doesn’t.
29. You love when people ask in amazement, “You swim all those laps…at once?”
Even though our hearts may be in the 50, we’ll forever be entered in the 1650.
Counting the laps you swam…
#15 was thought of more than once…
#15 was thought of more than once…
20 and 21 i SOOOO identify with
#15 Especially when your counter puts the same number in twice…
BS…I love to swim 1,500 meters every day of the week and wouldn’t change it for anything…
So true. I am an aspiring distance swimmer and I would never had considered it in my wildest dreams.
Regan Nolan my fave distance training partner
this is so spot on, couldn’t have made it through w/o you ? what am I going to do next year
#18 is very correct. Until coaches work both sides of the pool.
Omg sooo true….and funny….
I like:27. You’ve mastered flip turning and pulling down your cap simultaneously. Lol so true!!!
Cathleen Pruden ik youve already seen this but damn
Maybe 1 or 2 are true
23 for sure
Alex Foisy ce sont mes confessions :p
#7 true af
Seriously though… The one song verse… The entire time
Mackenzie Finkbeiner #1 and #18
Wow yes, amazing.
Brittany Archer
Cricket@bailee
nvm bailee blocked me on fb
Cecilia Langle Pamela Acosta B
Rosalie Davidson
C’est tlm ça en plus?
Oui hahah
Cest parfait comme article !
Malavika Vishwanath hahaha??ha.ha.ha????
ALL OF THESE ARE SO ACCURATE OMG
Number 7 tho?✌
And 12,18,20 and 21 ????
?????
Dean Wilson Jesse Collins ???
Linda Fox
Masha Baldwin
Marianne Rhéaume Justine Rhéaume
Hahahahaha 10
Alexandra Morris
These are almost all me, I can’t with the accuracy ?
Pragati Gupta
7 and 29 are SO true omg
Jonathan Ko
Rachael Elkaim Tori Gorman.
Justine Laprise ?
Ahahah moi ??
?❤
Cassidy Heaton
Cody Cole
Soooooooo trueeeeeeeeeee
Rana Ayman
Claire Elizabeth
Eva Gerstle
Alex Marie Frazier
Samuel Rutley Jesse Goodyear Boo Waters Charlie Cox Sam Harris Rebekah Sefton
5 ?
Cherelle Oestringer so accurate ? Starts perfectly with #1
Omg yes??
Cherelle Oestringer nr14, 18, 27….
Annelies Maas ??
Totally agree with no 23
Stoyan
PJ Ransford true?? Sharlene Ransford Mike Ransford
Thinking about stopping 66 times during the race? Really? I usually don’t start thinking about that into I’m at least 1100 yards into the race and then it’s only a few times, not 66.
As to 23, at least you can watch the entire 1500 at the Olympics on the internet now; NBC usually skipped the entire race.
Enjoyed this. Laps counting, red blocks, tumble turns, starting times…. Long distance did choose me…..
Anika Paterson
thats meeee!!
Hahahahha
Rebecca Treloar Kiessling
Alonso Mati Perez ?? La 1,2,4,7,8,10,11,13,16-20,25,26,27,28 jajajajaj en especial la 8 y 26
Ellen Wales 18 & 20… so you
Jessica Middleton Newman