By Bonnie Schipper, Swimming World College Intern
“My name is Bonnie and I’m not going to graduate college. Unless I can learn to swim three laps in a 25-yard pool.”
For most Columbia students, this doesn’t pose much of a problem- they hop in the water, take as much time as they need to complete the required swim test, then proceed to earn their diploma their senior year. For me, the swim test is one of my biggest concerns.
I learned how to swim when I was little, but by “swim” I mean doggie-paddle. It’s more like wildly splash around to keep my head above water, and sometimes move forward. If my life absolutely depended on it, I might be able to push two laps in my school’s pool, but may finish that stretch completely exhausted and out of breath.
My college, like several other elite institutions, requires that students pass a basic swim test in order to graduate. While I have an ever-growing appreciation for the sport of swimming, I have never thought it necessary that I learn how to actually swim. That is, until recently.
Since the day I mailed in my deposit, I wondered why Columbia didn’t just do away with the swim test requirement like most other schools in the country. Cornell, MIT, Notre Dame, Swarthmore, Bryn Mawr, Dartmouth, and the University of Chicago are some of the few that have continued to require passage of the test in order to graduate.
No one is exactly sure of the exact origin of Columbia’s test- some say it’s because Manhattan is an island and everyone needs to know how to escape. Others attribute it to the fact that at one time there were few public pools so people had to take swim courses in order to learn. A third story claims that the federal government mandated that undergraduate learn to swim during World War II, and the test just stuck around. I like to think that a rich alum died on the Titanic or something, but we’ll never know. Nevertheless, the test remains a part of my school’s curriculum, and I won’t be graduating until I can pass it.
While my suitemates, both members of the varsity swim team, are out enjoying their lovely 6 a.m. practice, I have made up a list of entertaining reasons for colleges to require students learn to swim before graduation.
Photo Courtesy: Episcopal Academy
CORNELL UNIVERSITY
Swim three lengths of the 25-yard pool – at least one on front and one on back in as much time as you need.
Why they need the test: If you aren’t paying attention during the yacht parties you are almost guaranteed to attend after graduating from Cornell, you might slip and fall overboard in your suit. When you swim to catch up with the boat, you might as well do it in style.
MIT
Swim 100 yards in as much time as you need.
Why they need the test: If any graduates of MIT need to know how to swim, they’ll only have to make it 100 yards before one of their robot-inventions can rescue them.
BRYN MAWR COLLEGE
Swim nonstop for ten minutes, then float on your back for one minute, and tread water for another minute.
Why they need the test: Bryn Mawr is clearly preparing its students for the Titanic Round II. They’ll probably swim for ten minutes towards the lifeboats, then give up and float, then when their friends say “We’ll never let go” . . . bye bye Bryn Mawr.
WASHINGTON AND LEE UNIVERSITY
Swim 50 yards in one minute, then tread water for five.
Why they need the test: In case you’re ever at a beach (…nowhere near Washington and Lee) and you hear the Jaws theme song start playing, the W-L alums will be the first to swim away, then change their mind and stay in the water…they paid way too much for full-day parking (and tuition) to leave early!
DARTMOUTH COLLEGE
Swim 50 yards, no time restriction.
Why they need the test: When World War III hits and New Hampshire is fresh out of cars (because let’s face it, who lives in New Hampshire), the Dartmouth students can swim away to Boston (and reward themselves with a tea party when they get there)!
UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME
Swim 100 yards, two on front and two back, in as much time as you need.
Why they need the test: Style, man. Style is everything.
COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY
Swim 75 yards in as much time as you need.
Why they need the test: If it’s not so we can swim to New Jersey or survive the Titanic, it’s probably just to make its entire student body cry. Unless they’re engineers- Columbia’s engineering students apparently don’t have take the test since they can just build themselves a boat.
So, in other words, colleges have really good reasons for making doggie-paddling students suffer in the water. All jokes aside, swimming is an important life skill that everyone should learn. It teaches teamwork, time management, is an incredible workout, and, as much as I like to argue it, is vital to one’s safety.
So if you want to reach me, I’ll be in the pool, working my way towards graduating. Maybe I’ll just swim to New Jersey.
My alma mater, Colgate, used to require a swim test of 200 yards any stroke, then 5 minutes treading water, then another 200 yards. Rumor was that the original pool donors lost a relative to drowning, but I’m not sure if it was true. They did away with the requirement in 2005 bending to legal pressure but I didn’t understand how they lost that battle, given how many schools still have the requirement.
This is the most hilariously rediculous things I’ve ever read :’D