37 Thoughts Swimmers Have While Putting On A Racing Suit
We turn to the archive for this piece by former U.S. National Team member and Swimming World intern, Courtney Bartholmew. A standout at the University of Virginia, Bartholomew takes a humorous look at what runs through a swimmer’s mind while donning a racing suit.
By Courtney Bartholomew (From Swimming World Archive)
It’s time to tell the story of the swimmer and their technical suit. You know, the one you squeeze your body into? That suit that takes 30 plus minutes to put on for a 22-second race?
Photo Courtesy: TYR
Here are 37 thoughts swimmers have while putting on a fast suit:
- “Yay, the new fast suits are here!”
- Begins dreaming of the best times and how you’ll look in the suit.
- Opens Box. Pulls out suit. “Wow, that looks tinier than I remember.”
- “I wonder if my big toe will fit through the leg hole?”
- “Maybe I should try the suit on before the meet starts?”
- “No, I really don’t want to squeeze my body into the suit before I have to.”
- “If I try the suit on now… maybe it’ll stretch out a little before I have to actually swim in it.”
- Stares at suit for 10 minutes contemplating the task at hand.
- Sticks the first foot into the leg hole.
- Sticks the second foot into the leg hole.
- “Wow, this isn’t as bad as I thought.”
- Begins to pull the suit past the calves.
- “Am I really putting this on right now?”
- “My leg looks like a sausage coming out of its casing.”
- “Is this sweat dripping or are they my tears?”
- “How long have I been trying this on for?!”
- “I need to sit down and take a moment.”
- “I don’t know how much longer I can do this for.”
- “Did I really need to eat that cookie two weeks ago?”
- “If I die while putting this suit on, will anyone ever find my body?”
- “If I put Vaseline all over my body will it go on easier?”
- “I really hope I don’t have to go to the bathroom once this is on…”
- “Why didn’t I choose a different sport?”
- “Did it just rip?!”
- “Oh no, it was just the sound of the suit smacking my skin.”
- “I am so happy it didn’t rip. I couldn’t put another one on right now.”
- “I was thinking I looked fit the other day, this suit is telling me otherwise.”
- “YAY! Its finally over my hips!”
- “I’m going to need help with putting my straps on.”
- “My swimmer shoulders are too big for this suit.”
- “The suit is FINALLY on!”
- “I am going to swim so fast with this on.”
- “It only took 30 minutes to put on!”
- “That might be a best time for me!”
- “I have to take it off now…”
- “I don’t want to do this again.”
- Takes off the suit
Photo Courtesy: JD Lasica
Swimmers have a love-hate relationship with racing suits. We love how they make us feel in the water and how they signify fast racing, but the amount of energy expended to put the suit on makes it difficult to enjoy the process. So next time you’re putting on a racing suit, think of all the thoughts you have while squeezing your body into it, you may just laugh the whole time.
Courtney you signed an autograph for my niece at Cheesecake Factory after Duel in the Pool. That made her day! Thank you! This article makes me think the tech suit I just bought her is way too big…
Of course! Thanks so much!
38) I think I just destroyed my taper putting this thing on.
Super funny. But they do make a difference!
If you are a masters swimmer there are a few other ones that come to mind after you get it past the calves……
If I slip and fall before the darn thing is on and someone sees me like this I hope they don’t use FB, instagram or snapchat.
Don’t they realize some of us have had children and my body is no longer as lithe as it was at 15.
Really, we cannot have suits with zippers, at some age zippers like velcro on shoes, ought to be okay.
….and no one mentioned the bruises on your upper arms from pulling on the straps….AFTER you manage to get it over the booty bits…
Savannah Scoons
Kleanza James Cathers???
So true…30 minutes to get into a suit you race for less than 30 seconds…
Danique Schulte ?
Laura Ruppel….I thought of u!! Lol
Kayla Davis Catherine Gavell
Holland Morris ME
HAHA YAS SO TRUE! Samantha Vogt
I laughed at every single one omg Sarah McChesney
May Aon Malak El Alaily Anna Chadwell Engy Ayad Seung Jee Song
Layla Kishli take 2 minutes and read this. It might give u an idea
Haha, Danielle Binkauskas. Never again!!
Nicky Deijl Thirza Belder
?? klopt echt
Emma Moloney
Kailah Buchanan
Oh how horribly true… ?
What no Ellen Cassidy
Naomi Kirsh
Kelly Murphy…share this Em
Lizzie Godfrey I read this and thought of you xx Michelle Matson and I have these thoughts regularly Xxxxx
Haha…. You beat me to it! I was thinking about Lizzie too xx
Haha!! These are really my thoughts although I’ve not made it all the way through yet as I haven’t got it over my shoulders yet!!!! And there isn’t a mention about going for a wee!!??
Lizzie Godfrey – no 14 made me laugh. That would be me. ?
Haha, yes, have been there with every one of those thoughts!! But it’s the getting it over my shoulders that’s the one that would take me well over 40 things!! ? xx
Lol Fleur, little old ladies with their hands down my suit and you standing on a bench to get it over my shoulders ? xxxxx
15, 23&24 were me on sunday??
India Woodruff
Jodi Ziegert
Hahaha dit dus Renske Den Dekker Anouck Oppenhuizen Petri Velthuis Robina Hoegee
Hahaha sws?
Cady, sound familiar?
I believe there are a few extra steps….Did I hack off my fingernails low enough because they are so short I can’t file them? Are those blisters on my fingers? These heavy duty surgical gloves my mom gave me to put this suit on are the bomb! Is my butt all the way in? Someone help put my butt in so I don’t have drag from a plumbers crack?
Amy Sambell ??
Haha! So true. You will have these thoughts too Samantha Crosby!
Okay but what about finally taking off the suit and then it gets stuck on your hip bones again? And you think, “is it worth it to cut myself out of this multi-hundred dollar suit?”
Reni Rejsi hahahahaha
Hahahahahah hated my life
Taylor Shankaruk Ruth Ormiston Kalyn Wigston Haley McKay Mackenzie Glover
Ragna Kornelia UnstadForså???
Haha så sant?
Omar Bazian this is what i was talking about ??
Andrew Seymour any familiar? ?
I only think of one thing….”that’s being number one”…
Katie Kelly
Ha ha ha Tess !!!
Jan Ole Böllert so muss das
Richelle, Eva, Quinty
Haha nummer 28 vooral ??
Jup jup jup??
Hahaha idd!!?
Sue Harris
Terrible timing but very apt- my new suit arrived in the post at the weekend and I haven’t managed to face trying it on yet!
Sarah Margolis ????
Eline Kasper Desiree Rave??
Zo waar
Vooral 14?
Samantha WhiteVeronica Morin
Domi
Brenna Roberts
Ana Nusa Versnik
Robyn X
That’s so good, I will show Jake he may have second thoughts haha but I doubt it x
Rebecca Mather-Brown, Megan Gallagher, Shannon Lee, Elyshia Sheldon
I just think of Bec’s butt hanging out of her suit in the arm holes!!
My thoughts exactly ….that scarred me for life
Emily Allanson
Megan Short